Budhaapa

Kuch 1.5 saal ke antraal ke baad Nanihaal jaane ka phir mauka laga. Yun mauke pehle bhi kai mile the, lekin kabhi hum mitron ke saath somras mein doobe hote, kabhi Ma-Baap ke prati kartavya nibhaate hote. Humaari jawaani aur unke budhaape ke saath Nana-Nani priority list mein neeche khiskate gaye.

Haalat kuch yun ho gayi ki humse milane ko Nana ko haddi tudvaani padi. Idhar baaki bhai-behan bhi Nana se milane door desh se aa pahunche. Kuch unse milane ki khushi, kuch unke pehle pahunch jaane ki sharmindgi ne mili-bhagat ki aur hum bhi Nanihaal pahunch hi gaye.

Jabse hosh sambhaala hai, Nana ko isi haal mein dekha hai. Safed pyajama, neeli khaki ki shirt, jiski chor pocket mein Nana apni mehnat ki kamai saalon se sahejate aa rahe hain. Jeebh par masala, aankhon pe voh toota chashma, jo badi besharmi se saalon se vahin chipka hua hai, maano keh raha ho, "Chal hatt paraaye, inka apna toh main hi hun."


Aur unke chehare par hoti dher saari santushti. Voh jo sirf us aadmi ke chehare par dikhti hai jisse zindagi se koi khaas gile-shikave nahin hain.


Baaki sab jas ka tas tha, par khushi ki kursi ab laachaari sambhaale hue thi. Yun kai janon se zyaada budhaapa dekha ho humaare Nana ne, chehare par is dafa hi dekhane ko mila tha.


"Nana, namaste"

"Namaste, namaste... aur, kaise ho?" Kaahe bakwaas karte ho Nana. Poochhna chahte ho ki karamjale aaj meri yaad kahan se aa gayi. Par poochoge nahin, badappan dikhaane ka theka jo liye baithe ho.


"Theek hun Nana. Aap kaise ho?"

"Hum... huh... haan theek hain. Bas yeh thodi takleef ho gayi per mein. Uthane baithane mein dikkat hoti hai. Latrine bhi nahin kar paate. Yeh panditji sahara dekar baithaate hain seat pe. Aur kya batayen."


Nana aur humne ice break kar li thi. Hum 3-4 bhai kamre mein Nana ke saath baith gaye.


Aur phir, Nana jawaan ho chale. TV par match chalaaya gaya. Pakau match, na humein koi interest, aur Nana ko jeevan ke is mod par Dhoni ki batting mein kya hi ras milega. Lekin cricket poore desh ko ek kar sakta hai, toh hum toh rishtedaari mein aate hain.

"Kya score hua hai?"

"Nana India jeetane vaali hai."

"Jeetane vaali hai? Chalo, achcha hai."

Chand pal phir shanti ki achanak, "Arrey voh laddoo kahan gaye? Voh laddoo nikaalo koi."

Ghee mein nahaaye hue laddoo, jinhein Dr. Saxena ke bagal vaale halwaai ne badi betarteebi, bade beman se banaya tha. Dabbe pe likha tha, "Swadisht bhi, sehatmand bhi." Swadisht nahin pata, lekin sehatmand zaroor the. Hum khaate ja rahe the, aur Nana ka khoon badhe ja raha tha.

"Abhi ho ki nikalane vaale ho?"

"Nana hum yehi ruk rahe hain aaj."

"Yehi ruk rahe ho? Kyun?"

Zindagi mein kai logon ne kai martaba kyun poochha hai mujhse. Lekin is shabd mein kitna vazan, ya bojha ho sakta hai, kabhi nahin socha tha.

"Aise hi Nana. Aaj yehi rukenge."

Nana ka seena chauda ho chala. Aur saath mein shuru ho gayi kambal parade. "Arrey koi kothari se kambal nikaalo. Gadde bhi chahiye padenge. Tum log Mandir mein so loge?"

Haan Nana. Maana ki kaafi kamaane lag gaye hain aur naram, aaraamdaayak gaddon par sone ki aadat pad gayi hai, lekin aaj Mandir mein in sakht gaddon par no soye, toh agle 3-4 dinon tak neend nahin aayegi.

"Khana kya khaoge?" ab Nani ki baari thi. "Ghar mein toh kuch hoga nahin. Tum log sabzi le aao, main kuch bana dungi."

"Khaana bahar se aa jaayega Nani."

Ghar mein sabzi na hone ki lachaari ne Nani ko kuch bolane se chup karaaya. Aur meri bevkoofi ne mujhe.

"Nahin, khaana toh ghar mein hi banega. Tum log sabzi le aao" Mausi ki awaaz aayi.

Thele pe pahunche, aur khuda kasam kuch nahin hoga jo khareeda nahin. Bhindi, mooli, gaajar, gobhi, baingan, adrak, neembu, pyaaz. Sabzi bhi kya cheez hai. Kabhi bhookh se marne se bachaati hai, kabhi sharmindgi se.

Voh raat bina aur bevkoofi kiye humne kaati. Hanste, khilkhilaate, taash ke bahaane raat bhar jagte hue.

Savere uthke Nana se alvida li. Ghar se nikalate waqt khushi thi, jis aadmi ne saalon saal sabka saath diya, har kisi ko gale lagaaya, ghar mein jagah di, uske liye itna toh kar hi sakte hain. 9 ladkiyon ke pita ko paani pilaane vaala ek haath bhi nahin hai, kyunki is desh mein sirf ladki ka pita hona budhaape aur akelepan ka byaah karaane jaisa hai.

Kaafi champion aadmi hain hum. Apne Nana ke saath samay bitaane mein bhi jan-chetna aur public service ka anand dhoond lete hain.

Bura waqt

Kaafi baaton par mera drishtikon hai. Yeh bura waqt haraamzaada figure out nahin kar pa raha tha. Bag uthaaya aur pahunch gaye Waqt Bewaqt Bura Waqt, Department of Human Misery, Government of God.

Scene maanavjaati ke sarkari daftaron se kuch khaas alag nahin tha. Bahar mujh jaison ki lambi line. Andar chai, samose khaate mard, sweater bunati auratein. Pehle kahan jaun, pehle kahan jaun. Haan, khidki no. 4, "Overall Bura Waqt."

"Kya jaanana chahte hain aap? Bura waqt kyun chal raha hai? Aapko andar kisane aane diya?"

50 ka note thamaane ka time aa gaya tha.

"Dekhiye, kya naam hai aapka? Ji, Utsav ji, sochna samajhana aage ke counters par shuru hota hai. Yahan hum sirf file kickstart karte hain. Voh peechhe almaari dekh rahe hain. Kai saari files usmein kai dinon se dhool kha rahi thi. Lucky draw kiya, aur baaki aapki footi kismat."

Khidki no. 5, "Shadishuda zindagi mein bura waqt."

"Dekhiye, kisi ki life history, jeevan ki samvednaayen, circumstances ityaadi padhke hum yeh anumaan lagate hain. Logic bada simple hai, bahot zyaada mohabbat bhi mohabbat ke liye haanikaarak ho sakti hai. Isliye jinki shadishuda zindagi kai dinon se shantimay chal rahi hai, unhein bure waqt ki darkaar hai. Jhagda hoga, ladai hogi, mohabbat ka imtehaan hoga. Agar aap jhel gaye, toh vaqai mohabbat thi. Nahin jhel paaye, toh kab tak galat mandir mein ghanta bajaate rahenge?"

"Toh isliye aapne mere saath aisa..."

"Nahin, nahin, nahin. Yeh toh kitaabi baatein hain. Itna waqt kiske paas hai. Jabse meri yeh nayi secretary aayi hain, Brahma ji ke office se 4 baar dhamki aa chuki hai ki mera kaam mein dhyaan nahin lag raha. Dharti par mohabbat barbaad nahin ho rahi. Isliye Overall Bura Waqt vaale aajkal jo bhi file bhejte hain, main thappa lagva ke aage bhej deta hun. Aapko lagvaana hai, thappa?"

Khidki no. 6, "Daftar mein Bura Waqt".

"Aapki file Shadishuda vaale counter se clear ho gayi thi?"

"Nahin Sir. Unhone bure waqt ke liye mera chayan kiya tha."

"Private mein kaam karte hain ya Sarkari mein?"

"Private, Sir."

"Dekhiye, Private mein naukri karne vaalon ki shadishuda zindagi par sirf ek vajah se bura waqt aa sakta hai. Chakkar chal raha hai na kisi mast patakha ladki ke saath daftar mein?"

"Ji nahin Sir."

"Jhooth mat boliye. Aapki aankhen bol rahi hain. Jis Private vaale ki shadishuda zindagi bure waqt mein aa rahi hai, uska yakeenan daftar mein chakkar chal raha hai. Isliye aapka daftar badalana behad zaroori hai. Apne aap kyun badalane lage? So is daftar mein aapka bura waqt humne shuru kara diya hai. Jitni jaldi daftar badalenge, utni jaldi shadishuda zindagi sambhal paayenge. Family first."



"Par Sir, un logon ne toh koi aur logic bataaya tha..."



"Chaliye aage badhiye, aur bhi log hain line mein."



Khidki no. 7, "Baaki paarivaarik zindagi mein Bura Waqt".

"Dost yaar hain aapke?"

"Ji."

"Mummy Papa?"

"Ji bilkul. Aap logon ne abhi tak humein aasmaan se tapkaana shuru nahin kiya."

"Yeh dharti ka sense of humour vahin chhod ke aaya kijiye. Jiska ghar aur daftar donon thuka ho, usse baaki parivaar aur doston ki chinta karne ka waqt kahan? Jahan itna jhel rahe hain, vahan thoda aur jhel lijiye. Baaki umeedwaaron ki zindagi theek-thaak chal rahi hai, unhein kyun bina baat ke tension den. Aapki biwi naraaz hai, boss naraaz hai, Papa ke chillane se kaun si gadhdhe ki khaai ban rahi hai. Jaaiye, chill maariye."

"Khidki no. 8, Miscellaneous Cheezon par Bura Waqt."

"Aapki gaadi ka challan jis Police waale ne kiya, uski naukri khatre mein thi. Jald hi kuch paisa kama ke usko Sarkar ko dena tha. Is kaam mein aap saksham saabti hue, iska aapko garv hona chahiye. Jis chor ne aapki jeb kaati, uska Police dwaara pakde jaana aur jail ki hawa khaana aage ke jeevan ke liye zaroori tha. Ab voh sudhar gaya hai, iska saara shreya aapko jaata hai. Normal circumstances mein kaam poora hone ke baad aapka batua aapko mil jaana chahiye tha, lekin aapki Police ke aage bhagwaan ki bhi nahin chalti. Bijli ka bill 3 mahinon se 3 hazaar se jyaada kyun aa raha hai, yeh aap swayam pata karein. Hum iske liye ek investigation committee baitha sakte hain, lekin humein umeed hai aap humse pehle pata laga paayenge."

Aur kuch sunane-sunaane ko na bacha tha. Lautate hue staff ne mujhe ek good luck charm se nawaaza.

Nahin, la nahin paaya. Dharti par utarte hi custom vaalon ne seize kar liya.