Bura waqt

Kaafi baaton par mera drishtikon hai. Yeh bura waqt haraamzaada figure out nahin kar pa raha tha. Bag uthaaya aur pahunch gaye Waqt Bewaqt Bura Waqt, Department of Human Misery, Government of God.

Scene maanavjaati ke sarkari daftaron se kuch khaas alag nahin tha. Bahar mujh jaison ki lambi line. Andar chai, samose khaate mard, sweater bunati auratein. Pehle kahan jaun, pehle kahan jaun. Haan, khidki no. 4, "Overall Bura Waqt."

"Kya jaanana chahte hain aap? Bura waqt kyun chal raha hai? Aapko andar kisane aane diya?"

50 ka note thamaane ka time aa gaya tha.

"Dekhiye, kya naam hai aapka? Ji, Utsav ji, sochna samajhana aage ke counters par shuru hota hai. Yahan hum sirf file kickstart karte hain. Voh peechhe almaari dekh rahe hain. Kai saari files usmein kai dinon se dhool kha rahi thi. Lucky draw kiya, aur baaki aapki footi kismat."

Khidki no. 5, "Shadishuda zindagi mein bura waqt."

"Dekhiye, kisi ki life history, jeevan ki samvednaayen, circumstances ityaadi padhke hum yeh anumaan lagate hain. Logic bada simple hai, bahot zyaada mohabbat bhi mohabbat ke liye haanikaarak ho sakti hai. Isliye jinki shadishuda zindagi kai dinon se shantimay chal rahi hai, unhein bure waqt ki darkaar hai. Jhagda hoga, ladai hogi, mohabbat ka imtehaan hoga. Agar aap jhel gaye, toh vaqai mohabbat thi. Nahin jhel paaye, toh kab tak galat mandir mein ghanta bajaate rahenge?"

"Toh isliye aapne mere saath aisa..."

"Nahin, nahin, nahin. Yeh toh kitaabi baatein hain. Itna waqt kiske paas hai. Jabse meri yeh nayi secretary aayi hain, Brahma ji ke office se 4 baar dhamki aa chuki hai ki mera kaam mein dhyaan nahin lag raha. Dharti par mohabbat barbaad nahin ho rahi. Isliye Overall Bura Waqt vaale aajkal jo bhi file bhejte hain, main thappa lagva ke aage bhej deta hun. Aapko lagvaana hai, thappa?"

Khidki no. 6, "Daftar mein Bura Waqt".

"Aapki file Shadishuda vaale counter se clear ho gayi thi?"

"Nahin Sir. Unhone bure waqt ke liye mera chayan kiya tha."

"Private mein kaam karte hain ya Sarkari mein?"

"Private, Sir."

"Dekhiye, Private mein naukri karne vaalon ki shadishuda zindagi par sirf ek vajah se bura waqt aa sakta hai. Chakkar chal raha hai na kisi mast patakha ladki ke saath daftar mein?"

"Ji nahin Sir."

"Jhooth mat boliye. Aapki aankhen bol rahi hain. Jis Private vaale ki shadishuda zindagi bure waqt mein aa rahi hai, uska yakeenan daftar mein chakkar chal raha hai. Isliye aapka daftar badalana behad zaroori hai. Apne aap kyun badalane lage? So is daftar mein aapka bura waqt humne shuru kara diya hai. Jitni jaldi daftar badalenge, utni jaldi shadishuda zindagi sambhal paayenge. Family first."



"Par Sir, un logon ne toh koi aur logic bataaya tha..."



"Chaliye aage badhiye, aur bhi log hain line mein."



Khidki no. 7, "Baaki paarivaarik zindagi mein Bura Waqt".

"Dost yaar hain aapke?"

"Ji."

"Mummy Papa?"

"Ji bilkul. Aap logon ne abhi tak humein aasmaan se tapkaana shuru nahin kiya."

"Yeh dharti ka sense of humour vahin chhod ke aaya kijiye. Jiska ghar aur daftar donon thuka ho, usse baaki parivaar aur doston ki chinta karne ka waqt kahan? Jahan itna jhel rahe hain, vahan thoda aur jhel lijiye. Baaki umeedwaaron ki zindagi theek-thaak chal rahi hai, unhein kyun bina baat ke tension den. Aapki biwi naraaz hai, boss naraaz hai, Papa ke chillane se kaun si gadhdhe ki khaai ban rahi hai. Jaaiye, chill maariye."

"Khidki no. 8, Miscellaneous Cheezon par Bura Waqt."

"Aapki gaadi ka challan jis Police waale ne kiya, uski naukri khatre mein thi. Jald hi kuch paisa kama ke usko Sarkar ko dena tha. Is kaam mein aap saksham saabti hue, iska aapko garv hona chahiye. Jis chor ne aapki jeb kaati, uska Police dwaara pakde jaana aur jail ki hawa khaana aage ke jeevan ke liye zaroori tha. Ab voh sudhar gaya hai, iska saara shreya aapko jaata hai. Normal circumstances mein kaam poora hone ke baad aapka batua aapko mil jaana chahiye tha, lekin aapki Police ke aage bhagwaan ki bhi nahin chalti. Bijli ka bill 3 mahinon se 3 hazaar se jyaada kyun aa raha hai, yeh aap swayam pata karein. Hum iske liye ek investigation committee baitha sakte hain, lekin humein umeed hai aap humse pehle pata laga paayenge."

Aur kuch sunane-sunaane ko na bacha tha. Lautate hue staff ne mujhe ek good luck charm se nawaaza.

Nahin, la nahin paaya. Dharti par utarte hi custom vaalon ne seize kar liya.