Bade aaye, kitaab chhapvaane

Facebook par notes ko kuch khaas bhaav nahin diye gaye. Mere vaahiyaat lekhon par response nahin aa raha tha, sivaaye unke jinhein main comment karne ke liye sharaab pilaata hun (ya kind mein, unke ghatiya notes ko like kar deta hun).

Samasya humne ek sah-lekhak Tiwariji se share ki. "Kitaab chhaap do", do took jawaab tika ke Tiwary ji ne sar dard se chhutkaara paana chaha. "Kaisi vaahiyaat baat kar rahe hain, ek toh main lekhak, upar se bhasha Hindi. Facebook vaalon ne ab tak humein bahar nahin nikaal fenka, yahi ganimat hai."

Baat par donon ne gaur kiya. Samasya vaqai gambheer jaan padi. Kitaab chhapen bhi toh kahan se chhapen. Bahot soch kar yaad aaya, Mathura mein humaare ek jaanane vaale printing press chalate hain. Ramdev ke pamphlet chhapane ka lifetime contract mila hua hai.

Par voh bhi toh aakhir dhandha hi kar rahe hain. Hum par apni lutiya kyun dubaane lage. Hindi ki kitaab chhap bhi jaaye, toh padhega kaun. Hindi aaj keval khud Hindi lekhak padhte hain, aapas mein hi vichaar-vimarsh karke likh lete hain, aur khud hi prashansa ya tiraskar kar lete hain. Lekin Hindi lekhak bhi tezi se vilupt hoti prajaati hai.

Vilupt hone ka kaaran bhi Hindi hi hai. Sher, cheete, more, chidyaayen... har voh jaanwar jo Hindi bolna, padhna jaante the, vilupt ho gaye. Jo koi bhi bache hain, voh har saal garmiyon mein Russia, China jaake angrezi ka abhyaas kar lete hain. Angrezi unki neenv bachaaye hue hai.

Munshi Premchand ne zindagi mein bahot kuch kiya hoga, lekin aaj ki peedhi ko Hindi padhvaane ka dum voh bhi nahin bhar sakte. Aaj hote, toh yahin kahin Penguin sareekhe publishing house mein translation karaane duad rahe hote.

"Munshi, man, tumhaari kitaab mein masala nahin hai. Catchy nahin hai. Naam hi dekho, Godaan. Kuch stylish naam hona chahiye. Cowboy kaisa rahega?"

Tiwary ji ne dekha mera dil toot raha hai. Pareshaan hoke sujhaavon ki jhadi laga di. "Hum mall ityaadi ke bahar khade hoke kitaab padhna shuru kar denge. Aur tab tak padhenge jab tak log pareshan hoke kitaab na khareed len. Ya phir 2-3 gunde type ke ladkon ke saath raat ko mahilaayon ko pareshaan karenge. Keh denge ya toh humaari kitaab padh lo, ya izzat lootane do."

Dimaag chatane ki ab Tiwary ki baari thi. Unhein humne agla lekh zabardasti padhvaane ki dhamki dekar bhagaaya.

Kuch dinon pehle ek publisher se main khud mila tha. "Hindi likhate hain? Kavitaayen kahan hain? Sher nahin hain? Phir kya Hindi likhate hain." Aise logon par mujhe shaq hota hai, kya yeh ghar mein bhi aise rhyming karke baat karte honge? Jab ghar mein bachcha paida hota hoga, "Meri beti hui hai, bade dinon ke baad, kuch sau jatnon ke baad, padosiyon ke saath."

Darasal kaviyon ne hi Hindi ka jeena dushvaar kar rakha hai. Hindi achchi hai, toh kuch tukbandi honi chahiye, naachna-gaana hona chahiye. Hindi sahi maayne mein aajkal item number ban ke reh gayi hai. Aur hum jaise badsurat ko kaun item number karne dega.

Tiwary ji, kahan ho? Ab humaari dimaag chaatane ki baari hai.